Confession: A Single Christian’s Apathy Towards Marriage

Posted on January 31, 2010

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For as long as I’ve been aware that I was single, “alone”, I’ve desired marriage. I’ve thought of my future with whoever it is I’m supposed to marry, more than most things in my life. And as such I already possess an intense love for this stranger, unlike the love I feel for anyone else.

But lately I’ve become very disheartened towards marriage. In the past few years I’ve seen EVERY single marriage I looked to with respect completely fall apart. Not one, not two, not even five marriages. EVERY. Today I found out that another friend is separating from his wife. It was the last example of marriage I could look to and think, “I hope my marriage is as beautiful as theirs”. Something inside of me broke today, and I’m honestly not sure how to process all of this information.

So here is a question I’d like to throw out into the cosmos, or at least the technological world of the WWW. Is marriage worth the risk? Can it work? Was Paul right when he said that it is better to be alone?

Lord please restore my friends’ relationships. They know you, and the enemy knows that. Protect them, humble them, bring them back together under the grace and beauty of those simple yet profound vows, “For better or for worse”. Lord we know that we are all living our love stories amidst a time of war. Help every one of your married children to rely on their partners as their best weapon and defense, instead of their weakest link and most acute hindrance. And please save my heart from the apathy that’s quickly draining me. Show me what you would have me to do. I know I am your bride. Help me to honor and cherish you for as long as I live, and forgive my cheating heart from seeking my shelter apart from you. I ask all of this in the name of your son Jesus, who lived, ministered and died so that I might know you. Amen.

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